Linda Oberhaus Executive Director

A special thanks to The Shelter Guild, who hosted a wonderful Mothers Day Dinner, May 6, for the women in our Emergency Shelter. Enjoy a video of the preparations below.

May is the month that we take time to celebrate mothers. As I walked to my office, this morning, I passed by a hallway with a collection of pretty gift bags lined up along the wall. Filled with a variety of goodies donated by supporters, these bags will be presented to moms in our emergency shelter on Sunday, with hopes of brightening their day and lifting their spirits.

Of the women served by our emergency shelter since 2008, close to half came to us with children. The decision to leave an abuser is never easy and becomes even more difficult when it involves children. There are as many reasons why someone stays in an abusive relationship as there are victims: love; belief in the batterer’s promise to change; fear of losing (or harm) to the children, pets and property; financial constraints, isolation from family and friends, among many others. Most often the question of “why didn’t she just leave?” more aptly turns into “It’s a miracle they escaped.”

Being a mother is never easy and for a battered mom, the challenges are daunting. Each day, we are amazed by the strength, courage and perseverance of the women we serve. This is why The Shelter exists – to protect victims, to prevent abuse among future generations and to prevail over this social ill.

Click here for an in-depth discussion on Why Does She Stay.

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By Kaydee Tuff

The sound of laughter and the soft ticking of knitting needles fills the Dorchester Community Room, every Tuesday afternoon, as strands of colored yarn are transformed into gifts of love.

“When I retired, I thought I’d try something completely new so I was going to learn how to be a dog groomer,” explains group founder Carol Blankman. “When I told my friend, she thought it was a terrible idea. She told me, ‘Do what you know.’”

Blankman knew knitting so she posted a notice for lessons on the condo’s community bulletin board and soon The Dorchester Knitters came to life. Four years later, the size of the group varies with the season, but the results are always significant – booties and hats for newborns at the hospital, blankets for residents at The Shelter for Abused Women & Children, stocking caps for Immokalee youngsters and toys for children in foster care.

Most of the women have been knitting for years, having learned from a parent, aunt, friend, or home ec class. A few are novices, hoping to learn the “ropes” from the experts.

“Well, it’s going to be a bunny,” chuckles ‘newbie’ Elaine Griver as she holds up two white yarn tubes that make up the early phase of her project. Other members look on with a laugh, knowing not every project is as successful as the photo in the instruction manual.

In fact, even a pro like Blankman shared an untimely tale about a swimsuit she once knitted from cotton yarn.

“I went into the water and of course the yarn began to stretch,” she recalled, as the group broke into giggles. “I had to ask my friend bring me a towel because I couldn’t come out of the water. That’s how I learned about using cotton yarn.”

Most projects are knitted from patterns, but several are unique creations such as Pat Kovach’s chicken sweaters.

“I knitted seven of them for my daughter’s chickens,” she explains as she pulls out her phone and searches for photos. “She lives up north and my husband was worried that the chickens would get too cold.”

This season, the group created 29 blankets, 21 hats, 10 scarves and numerous other projects including two adorable knitted dresses, but their charity goes beyond their knitting needles. Each year, the Knitters and other Dorchester residents host a Christmas tree decorated with stars from The Shelter for Abused Women & Children. Each star lists a Christmas gift wish of a Shelter participant. This year, the group was mistakenly given two sets of stars for a total of 75, but thanks to the amazing support of Dorchester residents, all of the wishes were met.

“The residents here are very charitable,” said Rashbaum. “We care about our community and want to do what we can to help those in need.”

As they work, the ladies share stories, some of which pertain to knitting, but most of which recollect their lives growing up, raising families, becoming grandparents and the ups and downs of retirement. When one suffers loss of health or spouse, the others lift her up with prayer and support, knitting their lives together as the colored yarns of their handiwork.

“We have a lot of fun and we talk about everything but politics,” said member Lanny Rashbaum. “We really care for each other and miss it when we can’t come. It’s a very pleasant way to spend an afternoon.”

A big thank you to all of the volunteers who came out to help with the Easter festivities at The Shelter. The youngsters enjoyed an Easter egg hunt, baskets and a visit from the Easter Bunny!

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Your best friend, sister or coworker has just entrusted you with a serious confession: She is being abused by her partner. She didn’t know who else to turn to, she says. At this pivotal moment, you want to say the exact right thing, but all you really want to do is tell her, in no uncertain terms, to GET OUT. Janice Miller, director of client services at House of Ruth, an intimate partner violence center in Maryland, explains why this isn’t exactly what the survivor needs to hear right now.

“The goal in this conversation is not to get her to leave—the goal is to make sure she feels heard and validated.