Survivor Susan Still keynote speaker at Shelter from the Storm

This year’s keynote speaker for the Shelter from the Storm Luncheon was Susan Still, a survivor of domestic abuse whose husband was sentenced to 36 years in prison for verbally, emotionally, financially and physically abusing her. Her powerful story and a video that her husband directed their 13-year-old son to tape, where part of her presentation, March 26, 2015 at the Naples Beach Hotel. view video

Thank you to Naples Daily News for covering this event.

Violence victim shares story of horror — and hope

By Kristine Gill
Naples Daily News reporter

In the minutes before she was to speak to the dozens gathered at an event Thursday for the Shelter for Abused Women & Children, Susan Still prayed.

She prayed to calm her nerves and in the hope that her story of surviving domestic violence would come across.

“I pray and I become a vessel,” said Still, an advocate for victims whose story has been featured on 20/20 and the Oprah Winfrey Network.

It was prayer, too, that got Still through her last day in an abusive relationship more than 10 years ago. That day, her husband of 24 years had threatened one of her sons with violence after having spent the weekend sexually and physically abusing her.

“I knew I would die if I stayed any longer,” she said.

Still’s speech Thursday was part of the shelter’s annual fundraising event at the Naples Beach Hotel. The group hopes to raise $5.1 million for its operations this year. The shelter is one of only two in the state that does not receive funding at the county level.

Attendees gasped when real footage of Still’s abuse played over two screens at the front of the room. Many were moved to tears as she spoke of the relentless verbal abuse she suffered at the hands of her husband. The video showed Ulner Lee Still smacking his wife, threatening to knock her teeth out and calling her stupid no less than 23 times as he forced his 13-year-old son to record the exchange.

“How many times does someone have to call you something before you believe it?” Still said to the audience.

Still’s story made national headlines when in 2004, her former husband was sentenced to 36 years in prison, the longest sentence imposed in a New York domestic violence case in which the victim lived.

On the night she decided to leave, Still prayed her husband would leave her alone the next morning as she got ready for work. Most days, he criticized her makeup and clothing, looking for reasons to force her to call out sick. Still needed to get to work that day so she could later visit the police station and report the abuse. She prayed she could make it to her job one more time.

“For the first morning ever, he didn’t come anywhere near me,” she said.

Still told the men and women gathered to imagine having to leave their home, all of their belongings and their jobs with only the cash in their wallet.

“The pit in your stomach you’re feeling now is probably one thousandth of what I felt,” she said.

Still took her children to a shelter where they provided beds, food, toothbrushes and, most importantly, a safe place to catch her breath.

“It was there that I found time to figure out the next move,” she said.

Still urged attendees to donate to the Naples shelter because she said it offers victims with few resources and fewer options a haven and a gateway to a better future.

“Give generously today so you can change and elevate lives,” she said.

The Shelter for Abused Women & Children opened in 1989 with 20 beds and has since expanded to 60 and now includes a kennel for families’ pets.

“Every adult, child and pet has a right to lead a life free from violence and abuse,” Executive Director Linda Oberhaus said.

As of Thursday, the shelter was housing 27 adults, 13 children, three dogs and four birds.