The idea might seem a bit absurd—someone can actually be in an abusive relationship and not even recognize it? Unfortunately, it happens more often than you think.
It’s easy to spot an abusive relationship as an outsider, or as someone who’s never experienced one. He hits you? Abuse. He puts you down frequently? Abuse. He controls your every move? Abuse.
The reality is, when you are in an abusive relationship, it’s not always that black and white. What if he only threatens to hit you, but never does? What if you’re scared of him, but not all the time? What if he always apologizes, gives you lavish gifts after a fight, promises to never do it again?
Now, a new app from the One Love Foundation, called the MyPlan app, is a quick way to judge the danger level of your relationship.
It’s a free download, it’s anonymous and it is password protected, so your partner won’t be able to access your information should he or she log on to your phone. Simply answer a series of questions and you’ll receive a score from Variable Danger to Extreme Danger, along with next steps, such as who to call to receive further counseling and advice.
Olive Waxter is the director of events at the One Love Foundation. She says the MyPlan app comes from more than 20 years of research by Drs. Nancy Glass and Jacquelyn Campbell, and their team at the Johns Hopkins University School of Nursing, and was funded by the National Institutes of Health.
“The research was originally designed to be given in a paper survey format, but the Foundation was eager to develop it into the app in order to make it more accessible to this incredibly at-risk age group: 16-24 year olds,” says Waxter. “The app presents a copious amount of research.”
The One Love Foundation was founded in memory of Yeardley Reynolds Love, who lost her life in 2010 to domestic violence. She was killed by an ex-boyfriend just two weeks shy of her radition from the University of Virginia. “She lived her life with integrity, gratitude and honesty, yet often with a touch of humor and intent to make others laugh. She saw the best in everyone,” says Waxter. “Today, One Love seeks to prevent future tragedies by raising awareness and educating young people about the warning signs of relationship violence.”
Search “One Love” in the App Store or Play Store for Apple and Android devices to find and download the app.
The idea might seem a bit absurd—someone can actually be in an abusive relationship and not even recognize it? Unfortunately, it happens more often than you think.
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