2019 Domestic Violence Awareness Month Guest Commentaries
Guest Commentary
By Linda Oberhaus, CEO
The Shelter for Abused Women & Children
It was 2 a.m. Jennifer awoke to Jay’s demand that she make him a sandwich. When she told him she was tired, he threw her to the floor and began punching her. Nearby in his crib, their three month-old son awoke to the screams and began to cry. Jennifer struggled free, grabbed the baby and ran outside. A neighbor heard her cries and called 9-1-1. Jay grabbed Jennifer by the hair and dragged her back into the house. He threw her on the couch and told her if she ever ran from him again, he would kill her. He had Jennifer pinned against the wall when Sheriff’s deputies arrived. Jay was arrested and officers told Jennifer about The Shelter. She arrived hours later.
At the Shelter, Jennifer received counseling and legal assistance. A judge granted her a 10-year injunction for protection. She and her son began to heal. Today she is piecing her life back together.
Although the names were changed, Jennifer’s story is true. She is one of thousands of survivors served by The Shelter since it began in 1989 and among the one in four American women who suffer physical violence at the hands of spouses, intimate partners or family members during her lifetime.
During October’s National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, The Shelter is calling on every Collier County resident to take a stand for countless victims and survivors like Jennifer, their children and families, their friends and their communities — impacted by domestic violence.
Although The Shelter is probably best known for protection, it is but one leg of our three-pronged mission to prevent, protect and prevail over domestic violence and human trafficking.
The Shelter’s prevention programs work with young people to recognize the signs of unhealthy relationships and learn what they can do to keep themselves safe. Our Raising Gentle’men program helps young men and boys challenge traditional male stereotypes to break the cycle of abuse. Our community and professional education programs provide employers, medical personnel, and first responders with the tools needed to recognize and provide assistance when they suspect abuse.
Jennifer’s life might have been different had she learned the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. Perhaps her employer or physician might have intervened had he or she known the signs of abuse and how to offer her assistance. Jay’s life might have been impacted by a Raising Gentle’men advocate. We will never know.
What we do know is domestic violence is not “somebody else’s problem.” Last year in Collier County, there were 1,611 calls to 9-1-1 regarding domestic violence. According to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, the reported domestic violence offenses in Collier County included 3 murders, 41 rapes and 265 aggravated assaults. Chances are very likely you know at least one of these victims because domestic violence crosses all ethnic, economic, and geographic boundaries. We cannot remain silent. We must take a stand to help victims and, ultimately, put an end to domestic violence and human trafficking in Collier County.
Assistance is a phone call away. If you or someone you know is impacted by domestic violence, call The Shelter’s crisis line at 239-775-1101. If you want to learn how you can take a stand, call 239-775-3862 or go online to naplesshelter.org.
