Naples Daily News Guest Editorial
The following guest commentary by Executive Director Linda Oberhaus was published in the October 4, 2015 edition of the Naples Daily News
Naples Daily News Guest commentary
Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Linda Oberhaus, Executive Director
Naples Shelter for Abused Women & Children
It was 2 a.m. Jennifer awoke to Jay’s demand that she make him a sandwich. When she told him she was tired, he pulled her off the bed by her legs, climbed on top of her and began punching her in the face and arms. Nearby in his crib, their 3-month-old son awoke to the screams and began to cry. Jennifer struggled free, grabbed the baby and ran outside.
A neighbor heard her cries for help and ran out to see what was happening. Jay grabbed Jennifer by the hair and pulled her back into the house. He threw her on the couch and told her if she ever ran from him again, he would kill her. To drive the point home, he grabbed their cat by the neck and cut the terrified pet with a kitchen knife.
He had Jennifer pinned against the wall when sheriff’s deputies arrived. Jay was arrested. Deputies told Jennifer about The Shelter for Abused Women & Children and she arrived hours later with her baby, her cat and a bag of clothes.
At the shelter, Jennifer received counseling and legal assistance. A judge granted her a 10-year injunction for protection. She and her son began to heal. Today she is piecing her life back together.
Although the names were changed, Jennifer’s story is true. She is one of thousands of survivors served by the shelter since it began in 1989. Jennifer is among the 1 in 4 American women who suffer physical violence at the hands of spouses, intimate partners or family members during her lifetime. That’s more women than are affected by breast cancer, ovarian cancer and lung cancer combined.
During October’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month, the shelter is calling on every Collier County resident to take a stand of support for countless victims and survivors like Jennifer, their children and families, their friends and their communities impacted by domestic violence.
You can help raise awareness. Start the conversation at your dinner table, in your social circle or at the office water cooler. Daily news items, social media, radio and television offer a variety of stories to start the conversation.
I never thought the sports section of the newspaper would be a source of conversation until the Ray Rice case broke last fall. If you need some tips on how to start the conversation, check our website at naplesshelter.org.
Although the shelter is probably best known for providing protection, it is but one leg of our three-pronged mission — to prevent, to protect, to prevail.
Prevention is the key to social change. It begins at home, at school and in the work place. In partnership with Collier County Public Schools, The Shelter for Abused Women & Children seeks to prevent domestic violence before it even begins. Young children receive the message that Hands are for Helping, Not for Hitting. Teens learn to recognize unhealthy relationships and early signs of abuse. Through the Raising Gentle’men program, young men and boys challenge traditional male stereotypes of aggression and control.
The shelter’s community and professional education programs provide employers, medical personnel and first responders with the tools needed to recognize and provide assistance when they suspect abuse.
Jennifer’s life might have been different had she learned the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. Perhaps her employer or physician might have intervened had he or she known the signs of abuse and how to offer her assistance. Jay’s life might have been impacted by a Raising Gentle’men advocate. We will never know.
What we do know is domestic violence is not “somebody else’s problem.” Last year in Collier County, there were 1,539 reported domestic violence offenses, including two murders, 16 forcible rapes and 236 aggravated assaults. Chances are very likely you know at least one of these victims.
We cannot remain silent upon experiencing, witnessing or hearing about incidents of domestic violence. We must take a stand to help victims and, ultimately, put an end to domestic violence in Collier County.
Assistance is a phone call away. If you or someone you know is impacted by domestic violence, call the shelter’s crisis line at 239-775-1101. If you want to learn how you can take a stand, call 239-775-3862 or go online to naplesshelter.org.
