Women of Means

Women of Means Program supports self-identified affluent women who have specialized needs based on the power, privilege and access to resources by their batterer. This program started in 2006 with peer to peer outreach from educated, professional, and privileged women to other women from similar backgrounds who were in need of support. Advocates provide supportive services, individual and group counseling, empowerment classes, safety planning and resources.

Self-identifying participants are most frequently college educated, upwardly mobile professionals who consider themselves to be in a high socioeconomic group. Often times these women:

  • Have not labeled the problems in their relationships as “abuse”
  • Have tried to work on current relationship problems with no success
  • Feel isolated or different from their peer group
  • Cover up, make excuses out of shame and embarrassment (self isolate)

Upper class women may be less likely to seek assistance due to:

  • Stereotypical ideas about domestic violence
  • Personal embarrassment about the situation
  • Damage to their careers
  • Damage to their husband’s career
  • Social isolation
  • Fear of their abuser’s access to resources

In many cases divorce for this population means having extensive resources such as:

  • Forensic Accountant
  • Family Law Attorney
  • Private Investigator
  • Appellate Attorney
  • Therapist
  • Safety planning that may include yachts and private jets etc.

Previous Women of Means participants said:

“It is so wonderful to have a place to come where other people just get it.”

“I was living in a $2 million prison.”

“I have been to other people and the answer was also the same, it was my fault. We would work on how I could change to meet his needs so that he would not be so angry all the time. There must be a reason he treated my so badly, right? Coming to The Shelter was the first time anyone really heard me. Right away I knew I was in the right place. Everything just clicked here for me.”

Suggested Reading List

“Divorcing a narcissist: Advice from the battlefield” – Tina Swithin

“Divorcing a narcissist, one mom’s battle” – Tina Swithin

“The object of my affection is in my reflection: coping with narcissists” – Rokelle Lerner

“High-conflict custody battle protect yourself and your kids from a toxic divorce, false accusaitons and parental alienation” – Amy J.K. Baker PhD. & J. Michael Bone, PhD. & Brian Ludner, BComm, LLB

“Divorce poison: How to prevent your family form Bad-mouthing & brainwashing” – Dr. Richard A. Warshak