Remember Rubi during Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Naples Daily News Guest Commentary
October 7, 2018
By Linda Oberhaus, CEO
The Shelter for Abused Women & Children

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We live in a time when domestic violence seems to dominate our daily headlines. Two local stories recently captured my attention. Both began very much the same, but ended very differently.

The first story was about Rubi de los Angeles Velasco, 18, who was killed Sept. 13. Santiago Burbano, 20, is accused of killing her at his family’s apartment in East Naples. A year ago, the two had a budding relationship, but according to her mother, his attempts to control Rubi’s life — her make-up, her clothing, her activities — were not for Rubi. We don’t know why Rubi went to his home that day, but friends describe her as the kind of person who was always willing to help a friend. She died that afternoon from a knife wound to her throat.

The second story ran just two days later. According to sheriff’s reports: David Heinz, 19, drove to Naples from Texas with threats to kill his 17-year-old ex-girlfriend and shoot up a school. Unwilling to accept her break-up, he sent her more than 50 threatening texts, including photos of guns. She reported the texts to law enforcement. Neighbors later reported seeing him driving in her neighborhood, and he was arrested at a local Publix parking lot. She is pressing charges.

Both stories involve an accused abuser unwilling to accept the loss of power and control over his victim, but only one woman is alive to tell her story. The senseless tragedy of Rubi’s death underscores the importance of recognizing and reporting the signs of domestic violence. Although every situation is unique, the young woman in the second story is alive today because she spoke out; her concerns were taken seriously, and the public got involved.

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This month, and throughout the year, The Shelter for Abused Women & Children calls on every Collier County citizen to take a stand for countless victims like Rubi, as well as survivors, families, friends and communities impacted by domestic violence.

Last year in Collier County, there were 1,794 reports of domestic violence, including two murders, 29 forcible rapes and 317 aggravated assaults. Chances are likely you know at least one of these victims because domestic violence crosses all ethnic, economic and geographic boundaries. Domestic violence isn’t always as obvious as a black eye or split lip. Things like lapses in communication, personality changes, never having money on hand, having to constantly check in with a partner, absence from work, school, or social outings can be red flags of abuse.