ABC-7 News: Transitional Living Program empowers survivors of abuse

By Reporter Amanda Lojewski

Finding an affordable house to live in can be difficult right now for people across the country, but especially for domestic victims who are seeking independence.

The Shelter for Abused Women & Children implemented a transitional living program for it’s survivors to help in every aspect of their lives.

“I was like any other teenager going through high school getting ready for prom, had a great childhood and grew up in a big house, first generation Haitian, my parents were immigrants from the island of Haiti so you know plans for college then I fell in love,” said Sandy Thellus.

At the time, Thellus was in 10th grade and clung to every word her boyfriend told her until a few years later when they had their first child. That was also the first time he hit her.

The two had a disagreement and as she was walking away holding her daughter’s hand, she remembers being hit in the back of the head. “On the floor, I turned around and I was just like, what happened? How could you do this in front of our child?” said Thellus.

The first time, became the fifth time, became the 10th time, became the 20th time, until she stopped counting. The life she dreamed of was no longer her reality.

Nearly 20 years later, her final attack took place the day her abuser’s violence threatened their unborn grandchild. During an argument, he attacked Thellus and her 18-year-old pregnant daughter attempted to intervene.

“He then began to hit me. He punched me, I think on the left side of my face twice. And then my daughter was really screaming somehow through the tussle, we ended up landing on her, we both landed on her,” said Thellus. “I just thought I lost my grandchild. That was the lowest feeling, the lowest point in my life. I couldn’t do it anymore because the last thing that was left was my sanity.”

So she picked up the phone and called the Naples Shelter for Women and Abused Children.

Thellus said she remembers calling The Shelter and will never forget the voice on the other end of the phone telling her everything would be okay and to come to the shelter as soon as possible.

With a few bags packed and a full tank of gas, Thellus was welcomed with open arms at The Shelter and has been there ever since.

According to Shelter COO Tama Caldarone, “Not only is there physical violence, but there’s also financial violence. There’s emotional violence and when that comes stripping our survivors of their dignity.”

Oftentimes, domestic violence survivors isolate themselves and can take longer to regain their independence.

“That’s what we’re here for is to show survivors how much they can do on their own and how much they can have in their lives free from abuse,” said Caldarone. One way they’re doing it is through the transitional living or TL program.

“It’s really just that transition program for them to be able to go out into the world on their own and have their finances in order for them to have their own apartments when they leave us here at the shelter,” she said.

The program started in 2007 and has helped 44 adults and 98 children since then. One of those families is Thellus’.

“When somebody says that and you spent the last 19 years of your life worrying about everything and somebody says to you, here’s a key to your new home. You get to start over. That’s an amazing feeling,” said Thellus.

Survivors accepted into the program live in a fully furnished cottage decorated just for them. They get to live with their families, with a full kitchen and backyard. Bills are taken care of, besides rent, to achieve financial independence.

“Since then, my credit has gone up 100 points. I am working on a new business, I want to go back to school,” said Thellus. “There is no way I would be a year later where I am now without the aid of the shelter.”

Now the shelter is looking forward to helping more families as it expands the TL program by adding an additional cottage in Naples and Immokalee.

“If I can do it and I never thought I would get out of that emotional stronghold absolutely, absolutely you can do it it’s just believing in yourself and of course having a couple people who believe in you too,” said Thellus.